And now for something completely different. You know what I hate? I hate cancer. I hate it. I don't understand the intricacies of it. I don't understand how sometimes treatment is effective and sometimes it isn't. When I look back over my day and all the things I did today, that's what I can come up with. I talked to a lot of people today, mostly women. A woman who told me about how her diet has changed. The way she talked about missing popcorn was like hearing about someone who has lost a loved one. I talked to a woman who shaved her head when she started losing hair with her chemo. She did that, not because she was having a hard time with it, but because her children were inconsolable when they noticed it had started.
This woman has the best attitude about having lost her husband to cancer and now in her own ordeal. She told me that she is absolutely sure that the reason she is still alive is that she never lost her laughter. I sat with her for over an hour today while she told me funny stories and poked fun at her kids and at herself. She told me that she understands why other people get scared or angry or a whole host of other things. She said she's fine though, because humor has carried her this far. You know, sometimes when patients tell me they are fine, I want to call BS because underneath, I can see that they are hot messes. But you know, I didn't get that in this case. I truly believe she is doing okay. She has the sort of attitude where she wants to fight but she doesn't seem to have any fear. Evidently for her, laughter really is the best medicince.
So, on day 5, I want to remind myself not to get cuaght up in the somber and sullen of Lent that is divorced from reality. I want to remind myself to stop and see humor in my days. I woke up in a bad mood this morning and feeling mooky and taking life way too seriously. I appreciate the gift of humor.
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